Recently I started thinking about the word kindness and what it means.
To be someone with a servants heart.
kind-ness
NOUN
1. the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate
I feel like ever since JR was born, my whole view of the world, of life, has completely and utterly shifted in the most amazing way.
I will be the first to admit that my fuse is probably shorter than most. I tend to get frustrated quicker than the average. But I am very aware of that. And I, 99% of the time, feel guilt once I recognize I am letting an outside stressor impact me personally. I cannot control what others chose to do or say. I cannot control my work flow. I cannot control the weather, someone else's feelings, what is happening in our world today. But- I can very much control on how I handle how I internalize it. I can control how I deal with the cards I have been dealt. I can choose to look at each card that comes my way and try to find the positive in it. Find the teaching lesson in it. Find the way to maybe turn and imperfect situation into the perfect time for growth.
I know I am not perfect. I know I have work to do. But I think that is all a part of growing up, getting older, gaining wisdom, knowledge.
Every day I am making a conscious decision on what kind of person I want to be. What kind of mother do I want to be for my son. What kind of example do I want to set for him. If he did the same action I am about to do, how would I feel about it? Would I be disappointed in him? Would I be PROUD of him?
When I got pregnant, the biggest thing I journaled about was my worry that I would be an inadequate mother. That I wouldn't be able to lead by example. Was I really THAT good of a human being to raise a giving, selfless, KIND child? Deep down, I know that I truly am. I have yet to "let myself down" - so to speak. I am sure there will be a time when I feel I could have done better but I know in my heart that I am doing the absolute best for him and I think one day he will be proud of that much.
I think how you make others feel about themselves, says a lot about you. Kindness is contagious (just look at when you all "pay it forward" at the Starbucks line, everyone gets their coffee paid for by the person in front of them!) I hope that in a room full of people who may be shutting someone down, he will be the man to stand up, against the grain, and lend a comforting hand. If I can teach him a little bit of those things, he will turn out a-ok.
Well done!
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