Lazy Saturday

A week ago yesterday we added a new member to the family. 

Everyone, meet Remington aka Remi

Our friends dogs had an accidental liter and well, here she is. 

The first night was interesting. She cried and cried. Which broke my heart. But she has the hang of it now. 

We're crate training her. 

She still isn't 100% in love with the crate, but we just got her a new one and I think she will be more comfortable in that tonight. I guess we will find out. 

She is otherwise an incredibly sweet girl. 

A little mouthy- in the sense that she bites and chews and tries to eat our carpet. 

But we signed her up for puppy classes, so hopefully we can get all that in check! 

Charles is doing great with her. 

He lets her know he's the man. But, surprisingly, he hasn't ripped her head off like I thought he might. 

He has been more snuggly with me. Which I am grateful for. 

Little shit never wanted to snuggle me! 

He is laying at my feet as I type!

I also think more trips to the pet store are in order. 

We took the two of them there today and they have done nothing but nap all damn day. 

I think seeing all the other dogs, being "aww"ed at and pet by complete strangers tired them out. 

I like them tired out. teehee!

Hubs and I watched We're the Millers tonight on our apple tv. 

Funniest. Movie. 

Seriously, I couldn't stop laughing. 

You all should see it. 

And probably watch it again if you already have. 

It helps that Jennifer Aniston plays a hot stripper. 

She sure has aged well. 

4 days until Christmas!

Happy Holidays :-)

Nah, fuck that. 

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! 

Spreading Kindness this Holiday Season

Friday morning my husband and I went out early to shovel the driveway. 

Normally I don't help with shoveling/snow blowing, but our snow blower belt broke and I figured it would be much faster if I went out and helped the best I could (I can't do too much because I have a bad back). 

Maybe 45 seconds had gone by and a man with a plow drove up into our driveway and plowed for us. 

I asked my husband to run in and find some cash. 

When he tried to pay the guy (who we found out was actually a neighbor), his response was "You didn't ask me to do it. Just go get ready for work." 

He finished plowing and headed out. 

Throughout the day the snow just kept coming. 

And as I was just finishing up cleaning off my car, the woman parked next to me came out. 

Her car completely covered in ice & snow. 

My car was all ready to go. Warmed up, deiced & cleared off. 

But it was nasty out. 

Thinking back to that morning, when I needed to get ready for work, someone was kind enough to take the time to help me.

I thought, this is my time to return the favor to someone else. 

I am sure she wanted to get home... or at the very least, get into a warm car. 

So, I helped clean off her car. We chipped away at the thick ice together. 

She thanked me several times and said I didn't need to help her. 

I simply explained that someone that same morning had helped me and it's the right thing to help others out. I just asked that she do something kind for someone else. 

It's the holidays. 

It's a time where we should be slowing down. 

Enjoying our friends and family. 

And helping others. 

I don't know if it's because of my brother moving away and joining the military that has cleared up my mind, but now more than ever, I want to help spread happiness and joy to others. 

And the holiday is the perfect time to start. 

Kindness is infectious. 

That one kind gesture that started in my driveway, and continued on into my work parking lot, and then onto who knows where, is a start to a beautiful cycle. 

If only more people were willing to stop and help others. 

Could you imagine what the world could become?

This holiday season, I urge everyone to do one kind thing for a stranger.

Or maybe a co worker who is having a hard time or is over worked. 

Or a family member who is stressed out with their kids and hasn't had a date night with their spouse in weeks. 

I can guarantee your unexpected, spontaneous, genuine act of kindness will start to spread a cycle of pure joy. 

And isn't that the best gift you could give to someone this time of year?

** Special Thank You to the incredibly generous and kind stranger that bought my brother his Starbucks in the airport in between flights after his leave. It is your act of kindness that has humbled my heart. And I know my brother appreciated it too. 

*** Special Thank You to a friend who was kind enough to send my family & I well wishes this season. 

"Meghan you always have the greatest posts! I enjoy following your page! Keep it up! We are praying for you and your brother and family this holiday season! We thank him for supporting our country and freedoms and we thank your family for supporting him! God bless and happy holidays!"

THANK YOU JACKIE. 

Until Next Time....

My last blog was about saying "see yah later" to Jake. 

However, I got ANOTHER surprise. 

Monday came and he decided instead of flying to Kentucky he would stay home for his full 10 day leave. 

He called his duty station and whoever he talked to there basically told him he may not get to come home at Christmas time and it would probably be in his best interest to stay home. 

So he did. 

I am very thankful for the extra time with my brother. 

During the day Monday, I called off my regular 9-5 job because I anticipated taking him to the airport.

I didn't want to miss seeing him off to his next venture. 

But like I said, he decided to stay home. 

So I went into my night job still. 

Tuesday & Wednesday I didn't see him at all. 

I figured everyone had been up his ass the whole weekend because we didn't think we would get much time with him. 

So, now that we had more time, I wanted him to just relax. Sit on the couch. Play Xbox. Love his friends. Love time all alone. 

Just sit around and be a normal 20 year old kid with minimal responsibilities for a few days. 

Thursday was awesome. 

Amanda's family invited us out to dinner at this amazing restaurant, Compane Bistro. 

Delicious food if you're in the area. 

We celebrated their engagement and met her family for the first time. 

I have to say, they're amazing people. 

It was so nice to sit at a table and feel so much love and support for Jake and Amanda. 

I love Amanda. Very very much. 

She is such a phenomenal woman. 

How many people can say that at 20 years old, they were ready to be completely selfless and stand by their man while they sacrificed their own life & freedom to defend our country?

A service member with a full support system is ideal. 

In Jakes case, I can say I am truly thankful to have SO many people standing behind him.

Including Amanda and her family. 

They're such wonderful people. 

And I now understand where her unconditional love and support comes from. 

My favorite brother & I.

The newly engaged couple & myself.

On Friday after work, I met up with my brother to head over to our grandparents house. 

They really wanted to see him one last time before he left for Kentucky. 

It was nice just hanging out and spending time with them. 

After our grandparents house, Jake headed to the tattoo shop. 

Our entire family is tattooed at Physical Graffiti by Gooch. BEST tattoo artist. Ever. 

Gooch was kind enough to cancel two of his appointments to get my brother in before he left. 

Thank You Gooch for taking the time to get Jake in. 

My brother got a sick tattoo. It's a start to what I can only assume will turn into another sleeve piece. 

Finished product. 

It came out awesome. 

After the tattoo we all met back at my Moms house and just hung out. 

Justin (Jakes long time best friend), Amanda, Joey (my hubs) and myself just hung out and had a few drinks. 

My mom and step dad came home after the hospitals holiday party and joined in. 

We just hung out. Laughed and had a nice night. 

And then today came. And it came way too fast. 

I feel like I get quiet on days like today. 

Where I have to say goodbye. 

I just kind of sat on the couch. 

I didn't say too too much.  

Putting on his boots

Snuggling his puppy before he has to leave.

My Mom, Paul, Joe, Kayla, Jason, Amanda and myself headed to the airport to see him off. 

We were fortunate enough to get boarding passes to get through security to see him to the gate. 

However, poor Amanda left her ID at the house and wasn't able to go back. 

We stayed out behind security until the last possible second. 

The airport wasn't very busy today so we got through security pretty quickly. 

As we walked toward the gate, Joe, Jason & Amanda came to the glass to see him off one last time. 

Saying good bye to his future wife through the glass.

As I walked down concourse B, tears started welling. 

I did not want to do this again. 

The memories from Syracuse started to all flood back. 

It was a quiet walk. 

I just wanted to stop and hug him. 

But I kept walking. 

I knew I couldn't hug him forever. 

He had to go. 

And I didn't want to make it any harder on him. 

We got to his gate and he left to hit up the bathroom quick and I just cried. 

I had to let it out. 

I wanted to try and get it out before he came back. 

I wanted to keep it together. 

But then I would look over at my Mom. 

She just kept welling up. Her only son. Leaving. Again.

It's just tough. 

 2 minutes later they asked for active military to board. 

Just like in Syracuse I lost my shit. 

I just hugged him and said, "I love you so so much. Please squeeze me."

I wanted him to hug me super tight one last time. 

So he did. 

He got teary eyed but he didn't let the tears fall.

I  apologized for crying and said "I don't mean to make this hard for you."

We walked over to the gate and watched him hand over his ticket. 

Then it happened. 

He turned around, waved, and said "Love you guys." 

And then he was gone. 

I cried and cried in the car until I felt I couldn't cry anymore.

It's weird. 

I feel like if I go over to the house, he should be there. 

He should be down in the basement playing grand theft auto.

But he wont be. 

He's back to work. 

And I can't wait until I see him next. 

What this weekend has meant to me

I don't know if this weekend has been so joyful but difficult because this was Jakes first time home since he left in August. 

I don't know if this will ever get easier. 

I don't know if I will ever become comfortable with the fact that he will be away from home more than he will be home. 

This surprise was such an incredible blessing. 

All my life I have been taught family is everything. 

I have been taught when everything around you crumbles, 

you will always have your family by your side. 

I don't think I have ever taken my family for granted. 

This weekend has really reminded me just how much they mean to me. 

That I would give up my own happiness to make sure they were happy. 

It was so nice to see my brother home, comfortable, smiling. 

It was so incredible to see him today hanging out on the couch with all his buddies. 

It's so nice to hug him. 

To tell him, to his face, that I love him. 

And I don't want tomorrow to come. 

I don't want to go to the airport tomorrow and "see yah next time." 

I don't want him to go to Kentucky. 

But I do. 

Because that's what he wants to do. 

It's his dreams he is living out. 

So, even though my selfishness wants him to stay here so I can hog him, 

I don't want him to stay here. 

I want him to go be everything he was made to be. 

I want him to excel and be amazing in everything he does. 

This weekend was a huge weekend for Jake. 

He came home. 

He proposed to the love of his life, Amanda. 

He bought his first big boy car; a 3 series BMW. 

All of these choices he has made are huge, monumental choices. 

But they're fantastic choices. 

I couldn't be more proud of the choices he has made. 

And that's how you know the Army has made him grow up so fast. 

He no longer sees his life as the same anymore. 

He no longer wants to wait to do big things. 

He has come to the realization that each day is a gift and we should take it and run. 

Do big things. 

And that's all I ever hoped for him, 

To do big things. 

Straight Chillen

Filling out the paperwork to purchase his first car! 

Standing with his new BMW! 

Holding his keys to his new whip!!

At game night, we ate shredded chocolate. 

Love this kid!

Boss.

Jake and his Fiance! 

Bros 

Jake & Dad

My world. 

For the people who read this blog, 

If I can tell you anything and hope that its sinks in; 

I really hope you take away that family is everything. 

Put them above all else. 

For if you stand behind them through it all, 

they will be sure to stand behind you. 

Thanksgiving, Surprises & Engagements!

Since the minute I woke up this morning I thought, 

"Today is going to be a great day to blog. I can tell the world just how thankful I am."

I wanted this post to be something spectacular. 

I wanted everyone who was special to me to know just exactly how special they were.

I also wanted the world to know that this was going to be my families first holiday without a very important loved one by our side. 

You see, people take a time out on Thanksgiving to stop what they're doing, enjoy their family, enjoy their friends and enjoy good food and great laughs together. 

Some families only do this around the holidays. 

For my family, I am thankful that we do this quite often throughout the year. 

I have been incredibly blessed with an extremely tight knit family. 

I have learned over the last 48 hours just how close we really are. 

Some personal things happened the day before Thanksgiving that don't need to be aired. 

But I will say that it involved a loved one needing their family. 

And within minutes, several members of our family stepped up to the plate, without hesitation, and did whatever needed to be done. 

And I know how incredibly lucky we are to have that. 

Some people just don't get that. 

And I am one of the few that can say, "Yeah, I GET THAT."

And then today,  to wake up and know your brother is sitting on plane, traveling on Thanksgiving to go to his duty station and for the first time spend Thanksgiving alone is painful as a sister. 

Painful.

You send your well wishes and sure maybe you get to FaceTime, 

But it's not the same as having his face across from you at the dinner table.

Snap chatting saying he was on his way to Kentucky.

Mostly, today is a reminder to me to stay grounded. 

To stay focused on what I hold so close to my heart. 

My family.

Never have I been reminded of that more than today. 

Let me explain how today played out. 

Not once did I think I would get the surprise of seeing my brother standing out on the front porch in uniform. On Thanksgiving. Never. It NEVER once crossed my mind. 

He made it very clear to me over the last 6-7 weeks that he couldn't come home.

I was sitting at the dinner table and had just finished my dinner when I heard a knock at the front door. 

I assumed it was either Jakes girlfriend Amanda (as she planned to come later on after dinner with her family) or just a last minute straggler. 

I heard my Dad yell "COME IN."

And I looked over to see my Dad with his camera out and recording. 

I said, "Why are you taping the door?"

And he said, "I am just getting everyone at the dinner table."

And I see over at the door my husband just standing there, staring, and then I see my sister scream and jump. 

And I knew it was Jake. I bolted through the dining room, living room and practically tore through the front door to get to him. 

I sobbed. And made weird ass noises. 

But I was elated. 

And elated isn't even a good word for it. 

Ask anyone there tonight. I couldn't stop dancing. 

And sweating... 

I sweat when I am nervous/excited. 

 Well, I will let you see how it played out. 

A huge Thank You to my other little bro, Justin for standing out in the cold to record us swarming our brother!!! 

I couldn't stop hugging him. 

So, if you want to know what I am thankful for this year. 

It's having my brother home for the holiday. 

It's having such an amazingly wonderful, supportive, close and unconditionally loving family. 

I am truly, incredibly blessed.
I know no matter where my life takes me, how hard it may get, how incredibly joyous it gets, I will always have the love and support from my family.
That's all I could ever need. Could ever want. 

Moments after seeing him at the front door

And then, if THAT wasn't enough, his girlfriend still hadn't showed up just yet. 

And she also had no idea that he was coming home. 

So, we literally had like 3 minutes with him before he had to go upstairs and hide. 

When she texted saying she was just about to the house, we all attempted to act completely normal. 

But at this point, everyone wanted to record her reaction. 

So I literally sat at the table with my camera in my hands... attempting to pretend I was playing on it. 

But I got her reaction on tape. 

And a few extra special moments as well...

Take a look!

(The video is like 5 minutes long. So feel free to fast forward to 2:58. The first few minutes is us just stalling time). 

Not only did I get my brother home for Thanksgiving, I gained a sister-in-law! 

Needless to say, yesterday was a very emotional and exciting day! 

Hope everyone had just as good as a Thanksgiving as I.

Happy Holidays! 

Jake with his Mom & Sisters

Jake & Mom

Jake with his new fiancé! 

Jake hugging his Grandpa

The beautiful ring! 

The Punitive Parent in Me.

I want to know when parents stopped parenting their children?

I work in a setting in which I see hundreds of people a day. 

Today I saw 2 scenarios that completely urked me. 

First thing this morning, I had a mother walk in with her 2 year old. 

The entire time he was all over the clinic, picking up all of our fall decorations, pulling on the blinds and several times attempting to come behind the counter to come work for me. 

This mother just looked frazzled. 

Like she had no idea how to control her two year old. 

Every time she spoke to the kid, "No no no! Come sit with Mommy! Want to play with your computer!"

She said it in this cheerful little voice. It's no wonder the kid didn't realize the terror he was causing was not appropriate. 

What happened to using a firm tone with your kid?

How is a child supposed to differentiate between "Ut oh, I shouldn't do that" and "This really is ok!" if all we do is speak the same tone?

And I want to know where this paralyzing fear of spanking your child in public came from?

I get it. I mean, no one finds joy in punishing their child in public. 

But to me, it's much more embarrassing to have a child running around wreaking havoc on society than a quick swift swat to the ass. 

As long as you aren't beating the kid with a hanger (which I once saw working retail in my college days), I could care less how you choose to punish you child. 

It's no one's business. 

 I don't know when Americans decided to make spanking a horrible act. 

Every now and then, a kid needs a kick in the pants to know that MOM and DAD are in charge.

Not them. 

I know I got spanked. And I know I survived. 

Scenario #2 was significantly worse to me. 

Around dinner time, I had 3 young males (I would say between the ages of 11 & 13) come in and begin to try to sell candy to people we had in our waiting area. 

Solicitation of any kind is prohibited in our place of business. 

And although I understand these kids were probably selling candy for school, we can't have people off the street bothering paying customers in our facility. 

I kindly informed the 3 boys that they were not able to sell the candy and to please leave. 

I went to the back of the facility to drop something off & when I came back to the front, one gentleman who was waiting informed me, rather than leaving, the 3 young boys were ran sacking my Kreurig coffee station. 

I quickly headed over & told them they couldn't use the machine without a parent supervising them (the possibility of burning oneself could potentially be a liability). 

I asked them to please finish brewing the cup of tea and leave. 

I went back to my desk only to see the kids place another k-cup in the machine and start at it again. 

REALLY!? Did you REALLY just completely ignore an adult who instructed you to stop!

I could see them peering over their shoulders, "keeping a look out" to see if I could see them. 

I could. 

And now I was pissed. 

I walked back over there and with a much different, much more serious, stern tone said "I think I just explained to you not to use this machine. You need to leave. Now."

Two of the boys grabbed their candy & immediately headed for the door. 

One boy refused to leave the brewing tea. 

I asked him again to leave. 

I think the 3rd time being told to go must have gotten through to him. 

He left.

Now, I want to know, #1 WHERE THE HELL WERE THEIR PARENTS!?

Who would send their young boys out to a busy plaza to sell candy to strangers?

And do these parents know a damn thing about parenting?

Seriously, if someone had told me at that age to knock it off, stop it, or leave, I would have NEVER tested them. 

I would have never defied them. 

Especially a stranger. 

Since when have children decided that they run the show?

Since when have parents decided that that was ok?

I just do not understand for the life of me how this has happened!

I am much more punitive than most. I am very much aware of this. 

All throughout college, I was the "asshole" who advocated the death penalty while many believed in restitution, rehabilitation and giving second, third and forth chances. 

Everyone knows how I feel about punishment. 

But I think that is what will separate me from just a ok parent to a great parent. 

I am not afraid to say no. 

I am not afraid to say you cant treat someone like that. 

I am ok with going against the grain. 

And I wish more people were too. 

I am a Gift to Blogging... or so I thought.

When I started this blog, I felt I would be the next sensation to hit the blogging world. 

I thought, shit, I have so many awesome ideas running through my head at all times. 

Who wouldn't want to hear all the things I come up with?! 

I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. 

Maintaining a blog is one of the most challenging experiences I have had. 

Everyday I mull it over. Everyday I think, "Oh, I could blog about that later." 

But then a few hours later, the concept doesn't even seem that exciting anymore. 

And who the hell wants to read a boring blog?

Most of the things I WANT to write about are personal. 

Too personal for the internet. 

Or very political. And while I have NO problem writing political posts, 

I like to make 100% sure I have researched and feel very comfortable on the topic before posting my opinions all out for everyone to tear apart.

Or they're about missing my brother. 

I find myself googling 

-"Ways to make your blog successful." - which only leads to marketing ideas and ways to get advertisements on your blog to make you money

-"How to get over writers block" - which all leads to weird ass ideas like "give us your favorite childhood movie star." 

-"How to punch writers block in the face." - which only gave me tips on how to write novels/books. Not so much help with the blogging world. 

And I am stalled out again. 

So I am writing a post about my writers block and how I feel my gift to the blogging world is slowly puttering out. How sad. 

Now this post too has hit a brick wall.
WAH!

A Piece of Me in Oklahoma

Remember when you were 7 years old and it was Christmas Eve night

And you were so incredibly anxious, excited & giddy that you couldn't sleep, so you didn't. 

You sat up all night waiting for Santa to come?

And without fail, every Christmas morning he came without disappointment.

That was what it felt like for the first time, the night of October 15th, since I was a child. 

And what I felt like every night up until Sunday when I would leave Oklahoma. 

That feeling of pure excitement is something I will never forget. 

I woke up Wednesday the 16th and finished packing my duffle for my three flights to Oklahoma. 

I hardly felt rested as I spent most of the night with my eyes closed but hardly sleeping. 

Thinking of seeing my brother over and over for the first time. 

And how excited I was to finally hug him again. 

Every flight to Oklahoma hardly had a layover. 

We didn't miss a single flight. 

And when we got to Lawton, OK to say there was nothing to do would be a serious disservice to those hoping to travel there one day. There was literally hardly anything. haha. 

My Dad picked my husband, Joe, and I up from the airport. 

We checked into our rooms and headed out to dinner with everyone who came out to support my brother (Mom, Paul, Lisa, Dad, Kayla, Amanda, Joe & Myself). Afterwards, we went right to bed. 

I didn't sleep. That night before Christmas excitement consumed me. 

We stayed on the military base. Do you have any idea to know what it is like to be so close to a loved one but not be able to see them???

Needless to say, it made for a long, restless night. 

I got up the morning of the 17th. I curled my hair. I did my make up. 

I know he is my brother. And I know I didn't need to doll myself up. But I didn't want the first time he saw me to think, ew, couldn't you have tried to look decent haha. 

And I realized, I am a reflection of him. 

My actions, my appearance, my language, everything I did while in Oklahoma could potentially effect my brother. And I didn't want people giving him grief over something I was perfectly able to have control over. I was on my best behavior.. Which is SHOCKING! haha

We headed over to where the Family Day demonstration would be taking place. Several times I found myself clapping my hands and smiling ear to ear.

It was so hard to contain. I didn't want to contain it either. 

We found a spot on the bleachers and waited. And waited. And waited. 

It felt like forever. 

Then it began. 

The Family Day demonstration was an opportunity for all the Privates to show their loved ones what they endured during basic combat training. So there were several demonstrations that went on. 

And every time a new demonstration would start, my eyes would dart from left to right, scanning, searching for my brother. And each time when I came to the conclusion that he was not part of the demonstration, I would strain my eyes and attempt to pierce through the tent to see if I could make out his silhouette. 

My sister and I, several times, said, "Oh maybe THAT'S him!!!" Only to find out it wasn't! I think we were hoping SO badly we would see him any second that we were tricking our brains into thinking he was in there somewhere. 

But he wasn't. 

They saved him for DEAD last. 

He didn't sign up for a single demonstration. 

He stayed in his dress blues and marched out with his entire battery. 

Do you see how many men and women there are?! 

Can you imagine my family & I searching and searching in this massive group of  soldiers to find OUR loved one. 

I remember hearing someone say, "Oh My God! I see him. There's Jake."

I said over and over again "Where!!? Where!!?" 

I couldn't see him. 

I couldn't find my own damn brother. 

And then, out of the sea of  blue uniforms, my eyes locked on his stern face. 

Private Wichman; middle row, third male in. 

And I lost it. 

Everything felt so right. 

And I just cried. 

The amount of pride, joy, happiness, and an overwhelming amount of emotions I can't even put into words, is completely indescribable. 

Mostly, I felt PROUD. So PROUD to say "That is MY brother. And look at all he has accomplished."

This moment came and went so incredibly fast. 

At least it felt too short. 

Before I knew it, he was gone and we were all headed to the Battery to wait for our loved one to get their day pass and come hang out with us. 

He stood on his Battery platform. 

They were supposed to be able to turn around and leave to go with their families at 11am. 

But at 11:14am, they were still in formation. 

Reciting over and over: 

Sergeant: "There will..."

Privates: "BE NO..."

Sergeant: "drinking. You will be back at 19:45 hours. You will not be late."

They spent what seemed like an eternity going over the rules. 

Drilling it in their heads. 

My brother laughing at the Sergeants jokes.  

And then, they were dismissed. 

He was able to turn and acknowledge us for the first time all day. 

He was able to hug us for the first time in about 10 weeks. 

He was able to kiss his girlfriend for the first time in about 10 weeks. 

He was able to be with his family again. 

Hugging Mom for the first time. And my sister crying to the left. 

Hugging Dad for the first time. And me wiping my nose in the background from crying. Sexy. 

And finally, hugging me for the first time. 

And everything felt back to normal for a moment. 

Everything felt whole again. 

The thing that gets to me the most is, I know how incredibly difficult this was on myself, my family and his girlfriend. 

I know how many times I cried because I missed him. Because I thought of something funny and went to call him but was reminded that I couldn't. Because I heard a song that reminded me of jamming out in the car with him. 

I know how HARD it is to be in this unique situation. 

 I just hope and pray daily that it isn't as hard on him. 

We had each other to lean on when times got rough.

We had each other. 

He had himself. 

Of course I know he missed us, but I don't ever want him (or Kayla) to feel the way I feel when one of them is away from me. That feeling that something seriously important is missing. 

I want nothing but happiness and success for him. 

And I think the military is giving that gift to him. Success.

He is a completely different man. 

He has an immense amount of pride in what he has accomplished, as he should.

He says "Yes ma'am" and "No sir" like a gentleman should. 

He stands tall, heels together, feet at a 45 degree angle, hands at the small of his back.

He is calm. He is patient. 

He is Army Strong. 

Friday was Graduation Day. 

It was a wonderful ceremony. 

Completely unreal. 

Everyone of them sat, backs straight. Hands on their thighs - just at the knee. 

Face forward. Never moving to peer around the room. They sat like statues. 

They stood when commanded, sat when commanded. Yelled marching words when told. 

I just sat in my seat, wide eyed. Taking it all in. I didn't want to miss a single thing.

"Private Jacob Wichman. Rochester, NY." 

He walked across the stage and shook everyones hand. 

Exited the stage and walked without looking around. Walked right by us. Sat himself back in his seat & assumed the same seated position as they were in before. 

After everything was over, we had to follow them to AIT (Advanced Individual Training). And hope that he got a weekend pass. 

Thankfully, he did. 

We spent the entire weekend just simply enjoying his company. 

We smothered him. 

We hugged the shit out of him. 

The old Jake would have been like "ok ok enough enough." 

But this time, he soaked it up. 

He smiled, he posed for pictures, he hugged back.. he hugged tightly. 

I can't even begin to describe how many times I just hugged him and held him there. 

How many times I just randomly said, "I am so proud of you." 

I wanted him to walk away from this weekend knowing how damn proud I was. 

I know he KNOWS. 

So all in all. My weekend was fantastic. 

I didn't want to go home. 

The great part about AIT is that we should have significantly more contact with him. 

He killed his PT test and should have his phone every night. 

Whether or not he will actually have the time to call is another story. 

He needs to study. 

I want him to study. 

I don't want him calling me everyday. 

I want him to focus. 

This is his job training and I don't want him to miss a thing. 

It could mean the difference of coming home or not coming home if he is deployed. 

This training is essential and vital for his success. 

So, I wait until the next time I can talk to him. 

For the next time I can see him.

I'll leave you with some posing pictures from this weekend. 

Showing us his marksman rifle badge and grenade expert badge.

Private Jacob Wichman

Jake and Kayla 

Jake and Mom

Jake and Dad

Jake and Paul

Jake and Lisa

Jake and Joey

Jake and Amanda

Jake and Myself!!!! 

***Special Thanks to my Husband Joseph for capturing all these incredibly timeless and special moments for my family and I 

5 letters, 2 phone calls, 2 photos

I never truly understood what it was life for military families. 

In fact, a few people I am facebook friends have family members that serve - although appreciative that their loved ones gave up their own freedoms to defend my own- I found it annoying that their sisters, mothers, brothers constantly wrote on a public forum about every little detail. 

Well, now I am one of those family members & I completely get it. 

And I feel horrible for ever judging them for their need to post ever little detail. 

Ever letter, every phone call, every picture that is posted online by their Sergeant, all those small little things are the glimmer of hope that your loved one is well, is happy... is safe. 

Since my brother left August 5th, I have received 5 letters, 2 phone calls (one lasted about 36 seconds), and have seen 2 photos posted of him on his platoons facebook page. That is the extent of the contact I have had with my brother in over a month. 

So those 9 outlets I have received are beyond exciting to me. 

They're a little piece of family. A little piece of peace. 

Checking the mail box isn't such a daunting task anymore. 

I know I am not only receiving God awful credit card statements, but there could be a letter tucked in there somewhere. 

And when there is, I cant get my ass through my front door and tear into it fast enough. 

And when there isn't, my heart sinks a little. 

But then in the back of my mind, I just hope that the next day leads to a letter. 

A little piece of family tucked away in my mail box. 

It sounds incredibly corny. 

And that's ok. 

I don't ever expect anyone to truly understand the magnitude of emotions that come with being a military family member. 

There are moments of extreme excitement and bliss and then there a full blown days of utter sadness. 

My sisters birthday for example; 

I just could not get my shit together that day. I did fine on my own birthday without him. 

I did fine on his birthday 2 days prior to hers without him here. 

But on my sisters birthday, I lost my shit.

It started when a song by SafetySuit played into my ears while a work. 

And such a vivid memory came into my head of him and I riding in his Scion with him singing his heart out to that song. 

If you know Jake, you know how much he LOVES to sing.. 

And it broke my heart. 

I know he doesn't get his music in basic and he has written several times how much he misses it. 

So I sang the song to myself... at my cubicle... for him.

It also didn't help that "If You're Reading This" by Tim McGraw followed... which is a song about a solider who dies at war. 

Not exactly what I wanted to hear while already teary eyed after singing to myself a song that reminded me of my brother just moments before. 

I cried. At work. 

I am thankful no one knew. But had someone noticed- I wouldn't have been embarrassed. 

And then I lost it on the way home from work. 

And not just for 5 minutes. 

For the entire ride. 

I had my ugly cry face on the whole way home. 

And then I cried again on the way to my sisters birthday gathering right in front of my husband. 

He grabbed my hand, rubbed it, and just let me sob. 

It just apparently was one of those days where I missed him much much more than I knew. 

So, I guess my point to this never ending rant is: 

When you see my posts day after day, please don't be annoyed like I once was. 

I am sure seeing me freak over a letter every time to you seems old news. 

I am honest when I say that before this experience, I was that asshole who didn't get why that family member felt the need to tell us "Hey my loved one wiped his ass today."

But, that ass wiping story is the only highlight we get. 

It's the only piece of "home" we get. 

This is what we wait for.... 

Jake is the one directing the gunman. 

3rd row, 4th guy in with the water bottle in his mouth.