The Punitive Parent in Me.

I want to know when parents stopped parenting their children?

I work in a setting in which I see hundreds of people a day. 

Today I saw 2 scenarios that completely urked me. 

First thing this morning, I had a mother walk in with her 2 year old. 

The entire time he was all over the clinic, picking up all of our fall decorations, pulling on the blinds and several times attempting to come behind the counter to come work for me. 

This mother just looked frazzled. 

Like she had no idea how to control her two year old. 

Every time she spoke to the kid, "No no no! Come sit with Mommy! Want to play with your computer!"

She said it in this cheerful little voice. It's no wonder the kid didn't realize the terror he was causing was not appropriate. 

What happened to using a firm tone with your kid?

How is a child supposed to differentiate between "Ut oh, I shouldn't do that" and "This really is ok!" if all we do is speak the same tone?

And I want to know where this paralyzing fear of spanking your child in public came from?

I get it. I mean, no one finds joy in punishing their child in public. 

But to me, it's much more embarrassing to have a child running around wreaking havoc on society than a quick swift swat to the ass. 

As long as you aren't beating the kid with a hanger (which I once saw working retail in my college days), I could care less how you choose to punish you child. 

It's no one's business. 

 I don't know when Americans decided to make spanking a horrible act. 

Every now and then, a kid needs a kick in the pants to know that MOM and DAD are in charge.

Not them. 

I know I got spanked. And I know I survived. 

Scenario #2 was significantly worse to me. 

Around dinner time, I had 3 young males (I would say between the ages of 11 & 13) come in and begin to try to sell candy to people we had in our waiting area. 

Solicitation of any kind is prohibited in our place of business. 

And although I understand these kids were probably selling candy for school, we can't have people off the street bothering paying customers in our facility. 

I kindly informed the 3 boys that they were not able to sell the candy and to please leave. 

I went to the back of the facility to drop something off & when I came back to the front, one gentleman who was waiting informed me, rather than leaving, the 3 young boys were ran sacking my Kreurig coffee station. 

I quickly headed over & told them they couldn't use the machine without a parent supervising them (the possibility of burning oneself could potentially be a liability). 

I asked them to please finish brewing the cup of tea and leave. 

I went back to my desk only to see the kids place another k-cup in the machine and start at it again. 

REALLY!? Did you REALLY just completely ignore an adult who instructed you to stop!

I could see them peering over their shoulders, "keeping a look out" to see if I could see them. 

I could. 

And now I was pissed. 

I walked back over there and with a much different, much more serious, stern tone said "I think I just explained to you not to use this machine. You need to leave. Now."

Two of the boys grabbed their candy & immediately headed for the door. 

One boy refused to leave the brewing tea. 

I asked him again to leave. 

I think the 3rd time being told to go must have gotten through to him. 

He left.

Now, I want to know, #1 WHERE THE HELL WERE THEIR PARENTS!?

Who would send their young boys out to a busy plaza to sell candy to strangers?

And do these parents know a damn thing about parenting?

Seriously, if someone had told me at that age to knock it off, stop it, or leave, I would have NEVER tested them. 

I would have never defied them. 

Especially a stranger. 

Since when have children decided that they run the show?

Since when have parents decided that that was ok?

I just do not understand for the life of me how this has happened!

I am much more punitive than most. I am very much aware of this. 

All throughout college, I was the "asshole" who advocated the death penalty while many believed in restitution, rehabilitation and giving second, third and forth chances. 

Everyone knows how I feel about punishment. 

But I think that is what will separate me from just a ok parent to a great parent. 

I am not afraid to say no. 

I am not afraid to say you cant treat someone like that. 

I am ok with going against the grain. 

And I wish more people were too.