New Job, Old Job, Wedding Planning Craziness

I don't even know where to begin.

Apparently I suck at blogging. Eh whatever.

No one really reads this garbage anyway. Right?

Let's rewind to February 18th.

Yeah, I am that far behind.

So, February 18th, I started a new job for a fan-freakin-tastic company.

I have been applying over and over and finally got an interview and got the job.

I couldn't be happier.

Listen, I loved my old job. So much so that I didn't quit it.

I dropped down to per diem.

Committing myself 24 hours a day 7 days a week for urgent care was too much.

I didn't have a life.

I wanted something with more stable hours. Now I work 8:30 -4:30 and get an hour lunch break.

Yep, I work SEVEN hours a day. That's it.

I make more money.

And most importantly- I am NOT STRESSED THE FUCK OUT!

I go in, do my job, leave on the dot and not a minute later, and go home.

And now I tell urgent care when I want to work & if it doesn't work for them, then they don't utilize me.

Simple as that.

I hit a new weight loss low.

I am back in the 120s bitches. Granted it's HIGH 120s...

It's still better than 140 which I was creepin up on.

128.5!!! And I didn't even gain it back when I went to Vegas (which I will get to).

One weekend, not that long ago,

I had basically a weekend of charity events.

Overwhelmingly busy, but fun.

I got to spend some time with my favorite Princess Harper.

I honestly just wanted to share my charity blurb so I could share THIS cute freakin photo of my baby girl.

 

Oh & afterwards we ate at this place called

The Hole in the Wall.

And it was delicious food. I basically ate like a fat kid & then pooped myself afterwards.

No Big Deal. Judge Me.



If you're ever in Bliss check this place out. Super delicious food!



So, Vegas!!! Oh Vegas.

I don't even know where to freakin' begin with Vegas.

Apparently everyone in Vegas wants to be JUST like the dudes from blue man group....



Male Version



Female Version



The first night there was lack luster.

We got in late with flights & went to PF Changs for dinner.

Night #2 was exactly the opposite.

As much as I would LOVE to explain everything online,

some things aren't worth repeating.

The day was filled with drinking (well, by everyone but me- cause I don't drink)

and walking around & exploring the great sites Vegas has to offer.

Ever need a trip with lots of shit to do, go to Vegas. You will NEVER get bored.

 

One of the nights everyone was gambling,

which I also refuse to do because I am a Debby downer one who

doesn't like to watch my money get ripped from my grubby paws and go a casino,

my friend Dave gave me $20 of chips to just play a hand.

Well, I ended up winning $130 off his $20! Thanks Dave.

Which came in handy when I spent $700 on 2 Kate Spade items

& another $700 at the spa and luxury hotel (which I will also address later).

 

I'm LOADED!



We decided to go boating/jet skiing on Lake Mead.

What a freakin' fun time!

The idea was to get a pontoon boat and all hang out together...

We ended up with a speed boat which didn't fit everyone.

So, Joe and I just played on the jet ski. Which was amazing.

Sort of, I thought a few times I may die.

Lake Mead is deep and huge. And I kept thinking,

"The water is 51 degrees NEAR shore & we're way the fuck out here. Hypothermia could set in.

I don't know if I can swim all the way to shore. What if I die?"

Yeah, I know. I am fuckin' stupid. But hey, it could happen.



This view doesn't even do Lake Mead justice. So peaceful.



We also made time for SHOOTING!!!!

WOOP! And Joe shot for the first time. Gave me lady wood watching my sexy dude shoot big guns.

And of course I shot like a pro.

So, let's get to the FUN part.

The BACHELOR PARTY!

My night of heaven.

I left Joe around 4pm to go be by myself. Seeing how I was pretty much the only vagina on the trip,

I needed to find a way to entertain myself.

Before we even left for Vegas I made up my mind that I would pamper myself.

And that's exactly what I did.

I woke up that morning and called the most expensive hotel...

well maybe it's not the most expensive on the strip... I didn't compare pricing,

however, I know from experience that The Mandarin Oriental is by far

the most luxurious hotel I have ever stepped foot in.

And I have been to one in Miami, Munich Germany & now Vegas.

And from start to finish, you're literally treated like royalty.
And shit, that's exactly how I wanted to feel like.

My man was about to get suffocated with silicone tits and I didn't want to think about it for one second.

So, I booked a massage, a manicure (which is such a waste-I hate booking manicures), and booked a

STANDARD room.

Let me just show you what STANDARD is at a Mandarin.

 



That would be a TV in my bathroom mirror. Yah know, in case you want to watch tv while you soak your balls.



And here is my reaction to how my night was about to be spent:

So, yeah. I got a massage.

By a dude. Gross.

I don't really like other men touching me. But honestly, I wanted that massage so stinkin' bad

I didn't dare bitch about the gender of my therapist.

And honestly, I didn't shave my legs. So, it was kinda like a "hahahah" moment.

I mean, this guy gets my as a hot ass client and I have hairy stubs for legs.

BWAHAHA.

And then I took a mega long shower.

And got dressed to head to my manicure appointment.

It was nice and all, but for the life of me,

after every manicure I feel like a dumbass. Especially this one.

I spent $90 (BEFORE TIP) on this manicure. And it lasted me not even 24 hours.

It probably would have lasted longer if I didn't wash dishes at the condo and then shower.

But hey, a girls gotta clean.

After the spa treatments I was dizzy and thought maybe I needed some nutrition.
Naturally my carnivorous self decided to order the most expensive cut of steak I could.

Filet Mignon with fingerling potatoes confit, and of course a creme brulee.

After eating I felt like a bowling ball.

I decided rolling down the strip probably wasn't in my cards for the night.

So instead I decided to stay in my room and watch the 20/20 special titled

"Crazy Little Thing Called Love."

Which was basically all about how men have it in their DNA to cheat.

IN VEGAS.

What happens in Vegas no longer stays in Vegas because women are hiring Private Eyes to tail

their honeys while their off boning other bitches.

Their main piece of advice was for wives to start acting like mistress.

Whore that shit up in the bedroom.

You're man wont have a reason to go get pleased elsewhere.

Best believe when Joey came back I was the mistress ;-)

Sorry Dad, Grandma, Mom, Siblings & other family members who felt that last bit was too far.

You should know I always take everything too far.

Whateves.

The next day, Joe and I got up and went shopping.

Well, I went shopping & spent money I don't have on some Kate Spade shit.

Looking back, did I need to splurge on it but I was on vacation.

And my babe said I should get what I want.

Who am I to argue with the man who wears the pants.

 

Our last night in Vegas our friends were gracious enough to give us their dinner reservations at the restaurant in the Stratosphere.

It's called Top of the World.

And it was amazing. Food was amazeballs. So of course I inhaled it.

And it was really nice to spend the last night with my lover overlooking that beautiful city.

Thanks MJ & Derrick.

And, well that's Vegas in short.

So, I leave you with the gift Charley left for me in my bed last night.

That little shit snuck this in last night.

  

I'm out Folks.