What to do next...

I am having a really difficult time swallowing the "unemployed" pill. Yes, I do have a full time job. But it's not even closely related to what my degree is for.

I am a medical receptionist. Most of the time I like my job. Other times I can't stand it. I never thought I would see myself AFTER college working a desk job and catering the public.

You see, a few years back I was at MCC taking classes towards a childhood education degree. I thought, shit, I want to teach kids. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I can't stand other peoples children. I began working in one of the local elementary schools with 1st and 2nd graders and ended up volunteering with the class even after the class work ended. I fell in LOVE with those children. Sure, getting up at 6 am every morning really cramped my college lifestyle of sleeping in until noon, but I looked forward to my Fridays in the school. But in the back of my mind I wasn't so sure I could spend the rest of my life dealing with those boogers.

So, when it came time to transfer from community college to a big kid college, I was slapped in the face with a huge dose of reality. I didn't get into a single college that I applied to in order to finish out my undergrad work. Are you serious? And my overall GPA wasn't even bad. I was pissed and beyond upset. But it was a wake up call. It made me evaluate the big overall question; "Do you really want to teach children?" And that answer ended up being no. I didn't.

I have always been obsessed with crime. Murder. Police work. I decided my childhood dreams of solving murder mysteries was the next best thing in my career. I decided to apply to a great local college, RIT. And luckily, I got in. I loved that school. I loved my professors. I loved what I was learning. I excelled at that school because it meant everything to me. And I graduated in May of 2011 with honors. Meghan, graduated with honors. If you knew anything about my schooling growing up, you would know how much I hated school and how badly I sucked at it.

So here I am today, a graduate from a fantastic school with no job. I have applied to several jobs, all in which I get letters stating, "Sorry, you're not qualified." Are you kidding me? Seriously? I feel like those 2 years of busting my ass was a complete waste. The truth of the matter is, I chose criminal justice to be my degree. And every job in the CJ field is a job that even people with a GED can apply for. Why did I spend all that time and all that money on a degree when I could have competed with Joe Schmo who has nothing but a GED?

I don't necessarily regret my college experience or degree, I just wish I had thought about it more. I am 25 and a receptionist. It feels like a serious failure. I cry about it. It's devastating to me.

At 25, I am once again re-evaluating my life path. Do I keep trucking along and hoping I can find something? Or do I go back to school for nursing. I can get a 2nd bachelors in nursing in a year at the U of R. I can be employed in a year. Nursing is a growing field with job shortages.

And not to mention, I want to be a mother. I am getting married in April and we want children. How fair would it be to my family to go to work, strapped with a gun and potentially lose my life doing patrol, when I could easily go back to school, get a 2nd degree and be in a much safer environment? I do love the medical field. Shit, I have been working in it all throughout college. I just always said reception was NOT my career. I am too smart to be wasted on a desk job.

My mom is a nurse. My sister is a nurse. My dad has worked in medical facilities all his life. And my step dad is a neurosurgeon.

I have been getting really excited about going back to school and accomplishing a new task in my life. I just want to make sure that after THIS degree that there is SOMETHING out there for me. I don't think I can take yet another slap to the face. haha.

So, wish me luck, because after the new year (when the colleges re-open) I will be setting up meetings and deciding if nursing is a real and tangible opportunity for me.