Monday, August 29, 2016

you will never regret being kind

A post full of wonderful ideas on how you can show a little bit more love to people you know and come across!:

Recently I started thinking about the word kindness and what it means.
To be someone with a servants heart.



kind-ness

NOUN

1. the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate



I feel like ever since JR was born, my whole view of the world, of life, has completely and utterly shifted in the most amazing way.
I will be the first to admit that my fuse is probably shorter than most. I tend to get frustrated quicker than the average. But I am very aware of that. And I, 99% of the time, feel guilt once I recognize I am letting an outside stressor impact me personally. I cannot control what others chose to do or say. I cannot control my work flow. I cannot control the weather, someone else's feelings, what is happening in our world today. But- I can very much control on how I handle how I internalize it. I can control how I deal with the cards I have been dealt. I can choose to look at each card that comes my way and try to find the positive in it. Find the teaching lesson in it. Find the way to maybe turn and imperfect situation into the perfect time for growth.
I know I am not perfect. I know I have work to do. But I think that is all a part of growing up, getting older, gaining wisdom, knowledge.

Every day I am making a conscious decision on what kind of person I want to be. What kind of mother do I want to be for my son. What kind of example do I want to set for him. If he did the same action I am about to do, how would I feel about it? Would I be disappointed in him? Would I be PROUD of him?

When I got pregnant, the biggest thing I journaled about was my worry that I would be an inadequate mother. That I wouldn't be able to lead by example. Was I really THAT good of a human being to raise a giving, selfless, KIND child? Deep down, I know that I truly am. I have yet to "let myself down" - so to speak. I am sure there will be a time when I feel I could have done better but I know in my heart that I am doing the absolute best for him and I think one day he will be proud of that much.

I think how you make others feel about themselves, says a lot about you. Kindness is contagious (just look at when you all "pay it forward" at the Starbucks line, everyone gets their coffee paid for by the person in front of them!) I hope that in a room full of people who may be shutting someone down, he will be the man to stand up, against the grain, and lend a comforting hand. If I can teach him a little bit of those things, he will turn out a-ok.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

It's been a long time...

It has been a minute since I have got on my lap top and blogged.
Truth be told, I thought I broke my laptop somehow and was too lazy to take it to the store to get it fixed. I randomly picked it up today and it turned on. Needed to be wiped completely, but hey, it works.
I last blogged when I first found out I was pregnant. I now have a healthy, active, vivacious, crazy, two-toothed 9 month old.
My life has been forever changed. And in the greatest way possible.

As a little girl playing house in my garage with my neighborhood "boyfriend", I always imagined what kind of mother I would be. Would I be good at it? How hard could it be to take care of a child? I mean, I did a really good job with my Baby Born doll. And I have to say, now that motherhood is here, I think am doing more than ok. I am not just saying that because I need the ego boost. I am truly happy to say that thus far the amount of pride I take in being a mother shows. My son is loved, so loved. I know he knows it. He lights up when he sees me or his father.

I started writing him letters shortly after he was born. My post delivery experience was a near death experience and it was truly terrifying. I watched as my husband came in and out of my hospital room, with tears in his eyes, and my fresh 4-5 day old son cradled gently in his arms and the thought never left my mind that I may never get to raise this sweet little boy. That my husband may have to do it alone. Once I mentally recovered from the ordeal I decided I needed to write my sweet JR and try my hardest to write him often. Should I ever be called to Heaven before I am ready to go, before my son is old enough to understand, I wanted to leave behind letters from his Mama. Letters he could read when he was sad, missing me, or just needing to be reminded just how much I love him. And God willing, should I live on this world until I am old and grey, it will be a wonderful gift to give to him when he is older. Something he can read back on and understand just how deep a love is from a parent for their child.

Being a mother is by far one of the best titles I have (along with being a wife) and I am so excited to watch this little guy grow. Excited to watch him imagine his future, just as I did as that little girl playing house in the garage.


Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Finding Out - 6 Weeks Pregnant



2 days after I found out we were pregnant I had a nightmare. 
I had a dream that I was losing the baby. 
I woke up in a panic. 
After realizing it was just a dream, I felt some relief. 

When I first found out we were pregnant we still didn't have our health insurance yet. 
With Joe and I just relocating, our insurance wasn't due to kick in for a few more days. 
As soon as I got insurance I called the doctor to make an appointment but the receptionist told me they wouldn't schedule me until I had my insurance card, could provide them with all insurance information, and that I also had to wait until I was 7-9 weeks pregnant. 
My heart sank. 

When I was 19 years old, I thought I was ready to be a mother. 
You know, 19, you clearly know everything. 
And I successfully got pregnant probably a week after "trying."
And at 7 weeks, I lost the baby. 
It was probably one of the most difficult things I have been through. 
It tops any grief I have ever felt. 
Even at 19. 
I remember, it was like 6 months later and I was still crying myself to sleep at night. 
I just felt this huge void. 

Now, I am 27, married, truly in love and truly want this child.
I have no fears on how I will provide for the child. 
I have no fears on if my relationship will truly last. 
I have no fears on my capability to be a mother. A real GOOD mother. 
I don't know if I could physically or mentally deal with the pain of having a miscarriage. 
I am in such a different place now that I almost feel it would be unbearable. 

So for the doctors office to tell me I need to wait… let's just say I was just about willing to fudge on when I thought I conceived (even though I knew the exact date) just so I could get in and ensure my little embryo had a heart beat. 
I needed that peace of mind. 

On My 2nd Wedding anniversary I was able to make an appointment successfully. I think I lied a bit on the days and told her I was already 6 weeks when in reality I was 5 weeks and 4 days, just so she would get me in the following week. 
And she did. 
My appointment was officially set for Tuesday, April 14th.

I can't say the time from when I found out I was pregnant --> up until that appointment was enjoyable for me. 
I think I spent more time being paranoid about having a miscarriage than relishing in the fact that I had a tiny human growing inside of me. 
Every cramp I had - my heart would sink. 
Every time I used the bathroom, I was dreading seeing a miscarriage. 
The only thing that kept me sane was my boobs aching so incredibly bad and the serious fatigue. 
I kept saying to myself, your nipples feel like they're about to fall out, so you must be ok. He or she MUST be ok. 

The moments leading up to that ultrasound were beyond nerve wracking. 
Joe and I were together and we were laughing in the waiting room together. 
And I am so thankful for that. 
You never get called back when your appointment is actually scheduled. 
I just had a lot of anxiety. 
I was terrified my first ultrasound of this baby would be like my last and I would go home devastated. 

I heard my name and we hustled back to the ultrasound room. 
She have me my cheap ass paper garment to cover up my lady bits with and said she would be back. 
I think she was gone for 2 minutes. 
And in that 2 minutes, I managed to sweat through the fucking table paper thingie. 
No, I am not kidding. 
I was so damn nervous. 

She started the ultrasound. 
My eyes were feverishly scanning the black and white snowy tv. 
I spotted my wittle tiny dot. 
And then I saw a flickering light. 
In that one tiny second I had so much hope. 
"Is that the heart beat? Please tell me that's a heart beat!"
"Yes, thats it" and she pointed exactly to where my eyes were locked. 
I felt so much relief. 
I welled up a bit. But then I thought. Don't you dare, you sap. 
This is a great moment but don't go getting all hormonal. Not now. It's too god damn early to be a crier. 

I had to wait to see the doc afterwards but the worst part… the waiting part… was finally over. 
I had a little black and white picture of this thing that was probably the size of a poppy seed in my hand. 
And it had a heart beat.
That was all I cared about. 


Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Finding Out We Were Pregnant!

This post includes information that some may consider TMI, such as peeing. 
Should you have an issue, discontinue reading. 


The night of March 26th, Joe looked at me and said "You're pregnant this time. I just know it."  
I looked back at him with a crazy look and said "No way." 
He bet me something.. probably dinner.. and I went to go take a pregnancy test right before bed. 
But I had JUST gone to the bathroom and couldn't go to save my life. 
I set a test in the bathroom, figuring when I get up in the morning I will have it ready and I will take it then. 

Fast forward to 3:51am (I know the time because I wear a Fitbit and use its glow at night to light the path to the bathroom).  
Mother nature calls. 
I get up and stumble my way into the bathroom. 
Normally, I pee with the lights off but I didn't want to miss the stick so I hesitantly turned all the lights on…. Ughhhh. 
I took the test. 
Sat there. 
And this is what  I saw. 


I had to rub my eyes… no, not in the figurative way. 
I legit had to rub my eyes because I wasn't sure if I was truly reading "Pregnant." I mean, at 4 am, I was in a fog. 

Nope, it really did say pregnant. 

I walked out of the bathroom and went to wake up Joe. 
I nudged him and he just pulls the blankets over his head and rolls over. 
"Joe, I am pregnant. Like for real."
I was standing there with my pee stick all excited and he just groans. 
I'm like for reallll bro?
I pulled the covers off of him. 
"Joe, I am pregnant. Did you hear what I said? I'm pregnant." Holding my pee stick so proudly.
He looked so confused. I thought for sure I would've gotten an "I told you so" out of him almost instantly. 
I think once it hit him and the confusion of being woken up by your wife at 4am with a bathroom light halo around her wore off he realized he was going to be a Dad. 

Needless to say, I couldn't fucking sleep after that. 
I mean how can you when you have the wonderful world of Pinterest out there?
I sat online until my alarm went off for work pinning to my secret Babies Pinterest board. 

I took another test later that day. Just to make sure the first one wasn't some crazy false positive (which I later read is VERY uncommon). 
It came out positive too. 
So yay for us. 



Sunday, December 28, 2014

Kindness Ideas

Last month I wrote about doing #365daysofkindness
As the new year is fast approaching, I thought I would share a list of some ideas that we could tackle this coming year in 2015. 

1) Go through a drive through and pay for the car behind you. 
2) Send an encouraging card to a complete stranger. 
3) Donate items to a local food bank or shelter. 
4) Volunteer at a homeless shelter or any shelter. 
5) Give your mail carrier a gift card to thank them for their hard work. 
6) Bake some goodies and bring them to your local fire hall, police station or other public service workers. 
7) Go to a laundry mat and place some money on top of a washer or dryer. 
8) Donate towels, food, toys, blankets to your local animal shelter. 
9) Spend some time on Go Fund Me & donate to someone who touches your heart. 
10) Open the door for a complete stranger and tell them to have a nice day. 
11) Do something nice for your spouse. 
12) Do something out of the ordinary for a loved one. 
13) Spend an hour of your time volunteering at a nursing home & play some games with some of the residents. 
14) Start a canned food drive at your work to bring to a shelter. 
15) Send birthday cards to family members & friends. 
16) In the express lane at a grocery check out, offer to pay for someone who has a few items. 
17) During Valentines Day week, send valentines to a nursing home. 
18) Volunteer at your local Veterans Hospital. 
19) Send a care package to a soldier overseas. 
20) Make up some care packages to keep in your car to hand out to homeless as you pass them by on the streets. 
21) Encourage others to join this movement. 
22) Tape $5 to a gas pump. 
23) Tape some popcorn to a redbox machine. 
24) Tape money to a vending machine. 
25) Tape money to a parking machine/meter. 
26) Send get well mail to a sick child. 
27) Donate baby supplies to your local NICU. 
28) Do something out of the ordinary for someone who has impacted your life & let them know how much you appreciate them for it. 
29) Send a thank you email to an old school teacher or professor who impacted your life. 
30) Pay for lunch for a good friend or coworker. 
31) Make a care package or donate food to your local Ronald McDonald house. 
32) Make a homemade meal for a family or friend to show them you care. 
33) During Easter or the Month of April, hand out chocolate eggs that have a tag that reads "Have an Egg-celent day" 
34) Donate old magazines or a deck of cards to your local hospital. 
35) Offer to walk your neighbors dogs. 
36) Send shoes to an orphanage in another country. 
37) Walk for a cause - Relay for Life etc. 
38) Pay for a strangers coffee at a cafe. 
39) Buy the office receptionist some flowers just to say thank you. 
40) Help an elderly person with their groceries. 
41) Pay for a service members lunch or coffee. 
42) Each time you buy a new piece of clothing, give away something old. 
43) Bring in breakfast to share with the office. 
44) Help a friend pack or move. 
45) Leave a generous tip for a waiter who did a great job. 
46) Listen to someone attentively who needs to vent. 
47) Pass along a great book that you have finished reading. 
48) Donate old books to a nursing home, hospital, church or wherever you see fit. 
49) Encourage a friend to make a leap of faith. 
50) Call someone just to tell then you love them. 
51) Write a note of appreciation to your colleague. 
52) Gift someone with a journal where they can write their own reflections. 
53) Participate in a park or neighborhood clean up. 
54) Send a thank you card to someone who helped you when you really needed it. 
55) Send a card with a beautiful message to a friend or co worker anonymously. 
56) Become a mentor for a child. 
57) Get children excited about kindness. 
58) Pick up litter at a public place. 
59) Smile at a stranger. 
60) Give a sincere compliment. 
61) Read to a child. 
62) Refrain from gossiping about something. 
63) Become a pen pal. 
64) Donate blood. 
65) Start a kinds book and pass it around. On the very last page of the book, have them mail it back to you so you can reflect on other peoples good deeds. 
66) Contact an animal shelter & find out what donations they need & collect those items to donate. 
67) Stop and help someone who is broken down on the side of the road. 
68) Leave flowers for someone anonymously. 
69) Leave an encouraging note for someone you know is or was having a tough day or week. 
70) Treat a friend to a movie for no reason. 
71) Let someone jump in front of you at a line. 
72) Help someone with children at an airport, maybe with their bags or stroller or whatever they may be struggling with. 
73) Make a CD for an old friend with songs that remind you of your friendship with the. 
74) Befriend a new coworker. 
75) Renew an old friendship by sending a letter to say hi. 
76) Give a bag of groceries to a homeless person 
77) Offer to babysit for free. 
78) Volunteer for a non-profit organization. 
79) Volunteer at a hospice center 
80) Put a smiley face post it on someones desk. 
81) Buy a lottery ticket for a stranger. 
82) Bring soup to a friend with a cold. 
83) Tip the garbage man. 
84) Donate some school supplies to a school with under-privileged children. 
85) When you see someone else doing a small act of kindness, acknowledge them for it. 
86) Do your best to prevent bullying. Stand up for something you see that is wrong. 
87) If you see someone crying, stop and ask if there is anything you can do.. and genuinely mean it when you ask them. 
88) Wake up early & make your spouse breakfast in bed. 
89) Return a lost item if you find it. 
90) Start a coin jar & when its full, donate the money to a charity. 
91) Buy a phone card & give it to someone who is less fortunate. 
92) Stay after a holiday party and help clean up. 
93) Buy ice-cream for a kid. 
94) Encourage someone to pursue their dreams. 
95) Subscribe someone to their favorite magazine. 
96) Let go of a grudge. 
97) Say a prayer for someone in need. 
98) Write a referral for someone on LinkedIn. 
99) Randomly hand out balloons to children in a park. 
100) Sign up to be an organ donor. 
101) Hide an inspiring note in a library book. 
102) Donate coloring books and crayons to a children's hospital. 
103) Clean up someone else's mess. 
104) Be kind to someone you don't like. 
105) Buy a homeless person a sandwich. 
106) Bake cookies and share them with family and friends. 
107) Make a new friend. 
108) Attend an important event to support your loved one (even if you're not interested in it). 
109) Share a positive blog post 
110) Share your snack. 
111) Leave a nice note on a strangers car. 
112) Thank your boss for their leadership. 
113) Forgive yourself for something you regret. 
114) Offer to take a picture for someone when you see them  trying to take the picture themselves. 
115) Let your spouse have control of the remote for the evening. 
116) Help a kid with their homework. 
117) Pay for a round of shots at happy hour. 
118) Photocopy some jokes & leave them on some peoples windshields. 
119) If you stay at a friends house, leave a little thank you gift behind. 
120) Teach a child something you wish you knew at their age. 

I can't take credit for all of these great ideas. I used google. 
But, you get the idea. 

Now let's start off 2015 with some KINDNESS!!! Be sure to tag your ideas on the Facebook page & Instagram using the hashtag #365daysofkindness 

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Our Bucket List & #365daysofkindness

Last time I wrote, it was just shy of a year ago. 
I have a lot of plans for the next year and I figured I should start documenting them. 
After I lost my Grandma I started thinking of ways I could make my life better. How I could change other peoples lives. 
This is what I came up with. 

I plan on starting a movement. 
I want to complete 
#365daysofkindness 
So everyday, in 2015, I am planning to do something nice for someone else. It can be something as small as saying "Thank you so much" or something larger like handing out care packages to homeless, or volunteering my time.
I plan on documenting my acts of kindness on social media… whether it be here on my blog, on the Facebook page I created, or on my Instagram @ wisdomfromawichman
I encourage everyone to join in with me. 

After losing my Grandma, I also realized life is WAY too short to not set goals for myself. 
My husband and I have taken the last few days to sit down and go over things we really want to do with our lives before we leave this Earth. 
Things we would be sad we didn't get to do. 
A lot of it is travel. We both really love to travel. 
I personally think the best way to broaden your knowledge on the world is to experience it first hand. 
I have been very fortunate to have seen Rome, London, Paris & several parts of Germany in the last few years and I can only hope that I will be blessed enough to continue to see the world. 

So, this is our bucket list. 
I am sure with time things will get completed & new things will be added. But I think this is a hefty start! 

1. Rome, Italy - completed. 
2. London, England- completed. 
3. Paris, France- completed. 
4. Visit Cancun, Mexico- which we may never do if it continues to be this unsafe.
5. Visit Grand Canyon 
6. Visit Dominican Republic (I have completed but Joe has not, so hey, let's go again).
7. Visit Capri, Italy
8. Visit Spain 
9. Sky diving 
10. Live in another State. 
11. Go to a Chris Brown Concert. 
12. Go to an Ed Sheeran Concert. 
13. Own a corvette 
14. Visit Bora Bora. 
15. Have children. 
16. Build our dream home.
17. Retire early. 
18. Spend a summer abroad.
19. Travel to all 50 States. 
20. Visit the US Virgin Islands. 
21. Visit the Maldives. 
22. Visit Scottland and see the Fairy Pools. 
23. Visit Prague. 
24. Visit Greece 
25. See the Mendenhall Ice Caves of Juneau in Alaska 
26. Visit Australia
27. See the Marble Caves at General Carrera Lake in Argentina 
28. Visit Dubai 
29. Buy a Louis Vuitton 
30. See the Antelope Canyon in Arizona. 
31. Go to the Cherry Blossom Festival in Japan.
32. Go to the Cherry Blossom Festival in Washington DC. 
33. See a drive in movie together 
34. Visit Thailand. 
35. Elephant ride in Thailand. 
36. Run a successful blog 
37. #365daysofkindess 
38. Go on a RV camping trip through the USA.
39. See the Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade. 
40. New Years Eve in NYC. 
41. Learn a new dance together. 
42. Go on a game show. 
43. Shower in a waterfall. 
44. Spend New Years in an exotic location. 
45. Find a job we love. 
46. Go on a hot air balloon ride. 
47. Visit the Statute of Liberty & Ellis Island. 
48. Run a marathon (JOE)
49. Try a famous Cronut
50. Give a shelter pet a home.
51. See the Victoria Secret Fashion show in person 
52. Visit "Real" Santa in Finland. 
53. Celebrate our 50th Wedding Anniversary. 
54. Attend the Kentucky Derby and bet on it. 
55. See a Broadway musical. 
56. Tour Googleplex. 
57. Take a gondola ride in Venice, Italy
58. Go zip lining. 
59. See the Hollywood Sign
60. Go on a Haunted Mansion Tour in California 
61. Float in the Dead Sea. 
62. Own a Vespa 
63. Go to the Olympics 
64. Visit a chocolate factory 
65. Soak in the Hot Springs in Iceland (Blue Lagoon)
66. See Andrea Bocelli live 
67. See the fireworks over Cinderella's Castle. 
68. Prepare a care package for the homeless 
69. Visit San Alfonso Del Mar, Chile 
70. See the Northern Lights 
71. Go to Disney Land in California & Lego Land 
72. Visit Machu Picchu, Peru 
73. Visit Iguazu Falls, Argentina 
74. Visit Taj Mahal, India 
75. Eat at a restaurant from Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives 
76. Write and publish a book 
77. Join a cooking class 
78. Learn a new instrument. 
79. Volunteer at a hospice care facility 
80. Go horseback riding together. 
81. Be a mentor 
82. Go on a wine tour. 
83. Further our education
84. Organize a picnic outing with friends. 
85. Visit an active volcano 
86. Take a helicopter ride 
87. Go on a river cruise 
88. Learn another language. 
89. Go grape stomping. 
90. Attend a music festival 
91. Visit the Galapagos Islands 
92. Go to The Ellen Show 
93. Unplug for 48 hours 
94. Airboat through an alligator infested swamp 
95. See the Tunnel of Lights in Japan
96. Walk the Golden Gate Bridge 
97. Research the family tree 
98. Renew our vows in Vegas.
99. Learn pole dancing
100. Visit the Leaning Tower of Pisa. 
101. Make a time capsule with our children
102. Go skinny dipping 
103. Stand on the equator

Here's to a lifetime of goals! 

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Lazy Saturday

A week ago yesterday we added a new member to the family. 
Everyone, meet Remington aka Remi

Our friends dogs had an accidental liter and well, here she is. 
The first night was interesting. She cried and cried. Which broke my heart. But she has the hang of it now. 
We're crate training her. 
She still isn't 100% in love with the crate, but we just got her a new one and I think she will be more comfortable in that tonight. I guess we will find out. 
She is otherwise an incredibly sweet girl. 
A little mouthy- in the sense that she bites and chews and tries to eat our carpet. 
But we signed her up for puppy classes, so hopefully we can get all that in check! 

Charles is doing great with her. 
He lets her know he's the man. But, surprisingly, he hasn't ripped her head off like I thought he might. 
He has been more snuggly with me. Which I am grateful for. 
Little shit never wanted to snuggle me! 
He is laying at my feet as I type!

I also think more trips to the pet store are in order. 
We took the two of them there today and they have done nothing but nap all damn day. 
I think seeing all the other dogs, being "aww"ed at and pet by complete strangers tired them out. 
I like them tired out. teehee!

Hubs and I watched We're the Millers tonight on our apple tv. 
Funniest. Movie. 
Seriously, I couldn't stop laughing. 
You all should see it. 
And probably watch it again if you already have. 
It helps that Jennifer Aniston plays a hot stripper. 
She sure has aged well. 

4 days until Christmas!
Happy Holidays :-)
Nah, fuck that. 
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!